I am a different person today than I was ten years ago. This night in 2001, I was holding my newborn son in my arms after a 100% drug-free natural childbirth, which I really don’t recommend unless you are like me (stubborn) and absolutely “need to know”.
Originally written 2/21/11. Sorry for delay in posting!
I look around and realize that very little, if anything, is the same as it was ten years ago, except maybe some furniture and old clothes, but even that has been moved around and become worn. I have a new husband, three new children, plus two “original” children who look very different than they did ten years ago, a new home, a new career and a new outlook on life. I have a New Day Foundation for Families and a new book coming out in the fall. I feel like the embodiment of the scripture verse:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come!”
I feel like I should dramatically fling off a red cape to reveal my new self, but the truth is, my old self is still tucked in here, in a place where all the old mistakes of the past linger, reminding me what never to do and where never to go with my life. For every old, dark place, there are new dark places awaiting me… But something is different today than it was ten years ago. As I have grown in my faith, I have gained some wisdom that I believe will make the failings of the next ten years a little less triumphant, and the victories that much sweeter.
This night in 2001, I held my newborn son in my arms, wanting to protect him from this world, and pain and suffering of any kind. I could not have predicted where we would be today. I didn’t realize that before Sam turned two, our lives would to take a dramatic turn. It is all at once unsettling and comforting to know that we cannot foresee such things. Buried at the nucleus of waiting on the unexpected twists and turns of our lives, is a life-giving gift. It is here, in my very soul, that I rely on the only constant, unchanging source that exists to see us through these times. Jesus.
Happy 10th Birthday to my sweet Sammy-boots. I hope I will have a post ten years from tonight, when many things will likely be new again (including the way we post to a blog!). You will be 20 years old then and I know one thing is certain. God will not have changed one bit.