Happy (sort of) Halloween

Just in time for Halloween, a friend forwarded to me an email with an article about the evils of eating candy. It was a well-intentioned attempt to encourage parents to keep their offspring safe and healthy this Halloween.

I Got a Rock...

Among the bullet points that were suggested: Don’t hand out candy at your house this year. Instead, hand out inexpensive trinkets like glow sticks; Fill your kids with their favorite foods for dinner on Halloween night, that way they won’t even want to eat candy; Upon their return form trick-or-treating, tell them they can have two pieces (or one) only, then throw the remainder away.

I understand the innate desire to keep kids safe and healthy. (I have five of the ankle biters myself.) However there seems to be a growing culture that wants to eradicate the fun and whimsy in kids’ lives. I know people who never told their children about Santa Claus because they didn’t think it was respectful to their religious beliefs. Did they really think God doesn’t want his babies to see Santa!???

I chuckled a little at first when I read this but then had another thought. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should rethink this whole idea of holiday fun (of which Halloween is just the first). So I came up with a few suggestions of my own for the coming holiday season. Let me know if you like these.

1) Don’t do damage to the environment by chopping down any Christmas trees this year. Instead, find some fun stickers and decorate one of your mop handles and place it in an area of prominence in your home.

2) Don’t give out any wrapped gifts this year (the wrapping paper can result in way too many paper cuts). Instead, why not make several photocopies of the story of Christmas and simply leave those around the base of the mop handle. Kids especially will appreciate the thought.

3) Lastly, don’t hang any flammable stockings from the fireplace this year. Instead, get the kids excited about a new tradition: the festive placing of soup bowls by the fireplace. Each child can decorate their own soup bowl. Imagine their excitement when, on Christmas morning, they wake to discover exactly what kind of yummy (and good for you!) soup they got from Santa. “I got tomato!” “I got navy bean!” “I got plain broth!” Mmmmmmm good!

Stay tuned for more ideas just like these… Up next, making birthdays a misdemeanor and how bike riding can cause swine flu.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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